he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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