I am in a vortex of obligation.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
