I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
