this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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