I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
