Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
