sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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