i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
