So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
