thus making me awesome and them whores
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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