Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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