I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
