If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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