I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
