he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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