My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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