I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
