matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
