It's Friday. Sex?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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