Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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