you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
