goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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