Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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