I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
