So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Walk of Shame today included voting.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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