I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sext me about skeletons
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
