I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
