forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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