Have you finally orgasmed yet?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
