I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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