omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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