Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The air was thick with penises
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
