my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Fuck appropriateness.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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