Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
