I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
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Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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