Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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