im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
