There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
