we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do vagina's smell?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
