This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
