That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
