I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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