Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
