After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
