I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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