I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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