my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
