YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
