gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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