that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
