I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
