I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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