I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
