about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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