I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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