My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
