And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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