ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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